


who broke down crying...naked and trembling before the machinery of other skeletons

by Wolvesandwerewolves



Series: I’m With You in Rockland [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Schizophrenia, Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder, mentioned attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:02:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25819267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolvesandwerewolves/pseuds/Wolvesandwerewolves
Summary: Vanya is worried about Klaus. She calls for help.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: I’m With You in Rockland [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865728
Comments: 24
Kudos: 187





	who broke down crying...naked and trembling before the machinery of other skeletons

**Author's Note:**

> VANYA’s POV!!!  
> omg we finally hear from her. ngl this chapter was tough. it is almost 2 am. i tried very hard. almost didn’t post a new chapter tonight but yay i did it!!!  
> PS. you guys might not get a new chapter tomorrow...i am sorry...but im trying :)  
> fun fact: klaus owned a bar in the comic when he was trapped in Vietnam. he also hardly wore shoes. so now he works at a bar and goes barefoot all the time 
> 
> im writing this note before the title but y’all already know it’s from Howl

Vanya has not seen Klaus for two days now. 

She is very close to desperate.

She remembers the September a few years ago, now. When she was seventeen and they had just moved out that July. The only furniture they had was an old couch from a garage sale, twenty dollars and two broken legs. There was an ugly, outdated and scratched up coffee table setting in the kitchen and no chairs. The tv they’d bought on sale from a closing store sat on the stained carpet floor of the living room, right next to a single, dying house plant.

But it was home. It felt homey. Warm. There were no paintings on the walls, but there were also no giant portraits of their vigilante brothers and sister, no creepy taxidermy to stare them down. No glass-encased action figures or framed comic books or teen magazines. 

It felt safe and Vanya loved going home at the end of the day, collapsing on the torn, old couch and listening to Klaus make fun of her or their neighbors. 

Until Klaus stopped making fun of her. Until he stopped talking to her. And instead he started talking to himself, or the empty space in front of him. He refused his medication and wouldn’t eat anything. He hyperventilated at the mention of a hospital. 

And when he threatened himself and her, and locked himself in his bedroom with a spoon and a lighter, she knew it wasn’t her brother. Because her brother wore flashy, ugly clothes and he sang in the shower and danced awkwardly in the middle of the room while she played the violin, and he never wore shoes and he drove her nuts. 

And Klaus had stopped doing all of that a week before. 

Five years ago she hadn’t paid enough attention or hadn’t tried hard enough or maybe she just brushed everything off, until it was too late and she had to call 911. She felt like she had failed. 

(Even when, months later, Klaus had promised her, crying, that she didn’t fail. Even when he had nightmares he refused to talk about for at least two months afterwards. Even though he said he was sorry, and promised, with bloodshot eyes, to never do that again, like it was his fault and not the fault of the imbalance of chemicals in his brain.) 

So Vanya had sworn to herself that she never would fail again, because Klaus—he was almost like the only family she had. He was her childhood best friend. 

Except it was September again. Except Klaus started acting weird again, just like every other September, because it was an awful month with a shitty history, just like October. And Vanya brushed it off, and told herself that he acted this way every year, and she just had to be patient. 

She broke the promise she made to herself and her brother five years ago. 

And now it’s been two days since she’s seen him. 

Vanya doesn’t want to, but she calls the police, and she sits in the living room and waits. 

In the back of her mind, she thinks about how much nicer the couch they have now is than the one they had back then. She doesn’t know where the thought comes from. It almost makes her laugh. 

She doesn’t want to say she feels like she’s going crazy—because Klaus hates that term, and she hates that term and it wouldn’t be accurate, anyway. But she feels very close to her breaking point. 

Fifteen minutes later, there’s a knock on her door. Vanya breathes out a sigh of relief and stands to open it. When she does—it’s her brother. Standing there almost awkward, a half smile or a grimace on his face. He’s rocking back and forth on his heels like he’s nervous. 

“Hi,” he says. 

Vanya blinks. “Diego?”

“Um.” He shrugs. “You called the non-emergency line? About Klaus?”

It’s only then that she notices the shiny badge on his chest, the handgun strapped at his hip instead of the harness of knives. She didn’t know he was a cop, now. 

“Oh—right, yeah.” _Stupid, Vanya. Snap out of it. Think of Klaus._ “Come in,” she says, stepping back. 

“Thanks,” Diego says. He steps inside, and casually glances around the room. He doesn’t look impressed or even unimpressed. He just nods and gestures towards the couch as a silent question.

Vanya takes a deep breath. She squishes down the feelings of naked exposure and embarrassment she has. She and Klaus did not decorate their apartment with their siblings in mind. They didn’t care what any of them would think. She shouldn’t need anyone’s approval—especially when she wouldn’t even give her own approval for them, either. 

Especially when Klaus is missing. It’s not important. 

Vanya takes another shaky breath and sits down on the couch with Diego. She tries not to fidget with the sleeves of her sweatshirt. 

“You okay?” Diego asks, and she wonders if he even actually cares. 

But she nods, anyway. “Yeah. I’m just—I’m just worried. It’s been two days. And—and I talked to his boss, too. He called in sick a few days ago, and then he hasn’t shown up since.”

“Okay,” Diego says, and nods. “And that’s unusual?”

“Yes,” Vanya says, a little more harshly than she means to. Her brother looks momentarily surprised and she internally winces. 

But they don’t know him. They can’t act like they do.

“Yes,” she says, a little softer this time. She does not apologize. 

She thinks a few years ago, when she was still living under Dad’s roof, she would have. But moving out with Klaus has helped her self esteem. Klaus has helped her self esteem. He’s helped her, in general, and she has to help him. 

“Okay,” Diego says. “Where does Klaus work?”

“Dallas—downtown. He works nights, so we—we don’t always see each other much.” 

_Don’t make excuses for yourself,_ she thinks. She should have known something was up. More than usual. 

“The bar? Klaus works at the _nightclub_ downtown?” 

_“Yes,”_ Vanya says, and the harsh tone has crept back into her voice. She doesn’t know if she’s more angry at herself or Diego. Maybe she’s just plain worried. “Since we were nineteen. He’s been sober five years now.”

“Oh.” Diego shifts. “Alright. Has he been acting . . . weird lately? Has he said said anything?”

Vanya sighs. She pushes the guilt she feels back down. She can feel it later, when Klaus is safe. “Yes,” she admits. “September . . . and October are rough for us.”

“Yeah,” Diego says, nodding, like he gets it. Vanya knows that he doesn’t. 

She’s not even sure how to explain, herself, but she has to try. 

“It’s just—the anniversary effect. When we were kids.”

He nods, then hesitates and shakes his head. “I don’t get it.”

“He tried to kill himself around this time of year when we were kids,” Vanya says, and her voice shakes. 

“Yeah,” Diego says. “I—I remember that.”

She shrugs. Wipes her eyes and forces herself not look away. “The anniversary effect is just—well, what it sounds like. It just makes things tough.” 

Diego nods at her. Vanya takes another deep breath and forces herself to continue. 

“And October—well, there are already Halloween decorations out. Fake spiders, fake blood. Scary movies, haunted houses, it’s all—it just—”

“I get it,” Diego says, quietly. 

Vanya is almost annoyed, because no, he doesn’t. But then she thinks of everything he must have seen as a child, taking down criminals at the age of ten. 

She has to stop being so hard on them. Their childhood sucked, too. Maybe he does get it. 

“I’m just really worried,” she admits, and feels vulnerable for it. 

Diego hesitates and then he grabs her hand. His fingers are warm and rough with callouses. 

Klaus’s hands are always cold.

Vanya wants to cry. 

“It’s okay,” Diego says. “We’ll find him. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Tell me about the last time you saw him, and we’ll go from there.”

_Okay_ , Vanya thinks. She can do this. 

She takes a deep breath. Diego squeezes her hand. 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so...spoiler alert...and bc i haven’t written it yet this may change. but. vanya is going to find out about klaus’s powers very soon. maybe even next chapter idk. should diego also find out? lmk your thoughts! bc i heart diego. we stan him in this house. but also like idkkkkk about what would happen afterward with his relationship with vanya and klaus. and ben bc we love him too
> 
> also another fun fact: in the comics, diego and vanya were in a band together. they were also in love but we don’t do that here. 
> 
> Goodnight I love you please comment i might eventually take a day and answer you all if i can step away from my procrastination  
> xoxox


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